The Thoughts in my Mind...

Fridays just seem to be popping up every time I turn around. I just can't believe that a whole new week has passed.

I have spent most of my days hanging out on the couch. I picked up a knitting project that I started for over two years ago. I am trying to get projects that I have started completed before our little one arrives.

I haven't spotted since last Saturday and I went to the doctor yesterday for another ultrasound. She saw the yolk sack which was good. She didn't see anything else which makes her think that I found out I was pregnant really, really early and that I am only 4 to 4 1/2 weeks along instead of almost 6 weeks. The doctor gave me a picture of the ultrasound and if I had a scanner, the picture would be at the top of this post.

To be honest, in my mind I feel kinda' confused/discouraged/slightly lost, if that makes sense. In many ways I feel like we (my DH, myself, and our little one) took two HUMONGOUS steps back. For one, I am in the same place (as far as the timeline is concerned) that we thought we were almost two weeks ago. This makes me feel kinda' discouraged because the completion of the first trimester is such a big deal and I feel like we haven't made any progress towards it. Secondly, when I miscarried before, the tests that they ran led them to the conclusion that everything had basically stopped developing about the time that I found out I was pregnant, it just took my body several weeks to figure that out. In the back (actually, I should say front and center) of my mind, is the rememberance of this and the thought that maybe the same thing is happening this time. My doctor didn't say anything negative, I just don't know if she isn't telling me all of her concerns (which I understand may be a good thing).

I say all of this to ask you to please continue to pray for us. For me, please pray that my mind does not get the better of me, that I will be able to rest in Him even when my mind is doing circles. I have ten days until my next ultra sound and I need to be positive until we find out I should think otherwise. I really don't need to stress about it for 10 days. For my DH, pray that he will not be discouraged either. We have both prayed that God would bless us with a baby for a couple of years now and I know that he is just as nervous as I am. For the baby, pray that things will continue to develop and that everything will progress smoothly.

I have recieved several comments about people praying for us all over the country and the world. For this, I am extremely thankful. I appreciate your lifting our little family up to God because being in His hands is the best place to be.

Jehovah is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; My God, my rock, in whom I will take refuge; My shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower.
~Psalm 18:2