Friday, February 20, 2009

My God of Peace and Timing...

I bought the book Prayers for New & Expectant Moms over a year ago at the local Christian bookstore. On the Sunday that I found out I was pregnant I asked my DH to find it. In it was a prayer that addressed my fears of the day. I thought about the book earlier but thought "I have already read what it has to say about where I am today". But as I was praying today, I felt like God was saying "Read that section again". I reread the prayer that I read almost two weeks ago and as I tearfully came to a place of peace and rest I was in amazed by God. I just thought I would share the prayer just to show you how AWESOME God is.

"Dear Lord, can I endure another tragic loss? I don't believe I am able to shoulder the burden of another miscarriage. I cannot go back to that place of grieving again. Lord, you will have to meet me right where I stand--now, even at this very moment. I do not want this burden upon me any longer. I am un a stranglehold of consuming fear and do not know how to free myself from it. Hold my heart, my soul, in your able hands. Regard me as one who is immeasurably weak and frail and unable to handle the strain of living with such sorrow. Lord, I need you as never before. I am helpless and stagnant without your steadying hand of strength. Bestow your grace upon me, I plead. Even my heart is unstable, conflicted, and filled with worrisome thoughts. Lead me to a place that is safe and secure.

Shelter me, Lord, from the torment and instruct my heart in your ways. Give me new vision for life. Help me see past all the agonies of these losses and give me your grace to place them in your hands. Safe keep all my hopes and desires for a family, Lord. And temper these longings with the overarching desire to live the life you've planned for mewith resolve and courage. Shoulder me up through these coming weeks and months with your precious promises of mercy and peace and the joy of Your fellowship. Let me not drift from your love; kepp me close, and minister to my broken heart. I know that you love me. I trust your soveriegn reign over all things. Yet, I'll never understand the whys behind so many of my hearts questions. Beyond my unanswered pleas, Lord, lead me to a place what is higher than where I am now. Lead me home to you even as I walk in faith through this pregnancy. Amen."

~Prayer is from Prayers for New & Expectant Moms by Michele Howe

1 Comment:

Lori said...

Sound slike an awesome book.
I will be praying for your pregnancy.