A February Past Us...

February was here and now it is almost gone. Goodness! I was trying to think about what to post about and then I looked at the calender. A monthly summary was now due.

So this month...has flown by and has crept ever so slowly by. The first week of the month was nothing special, we were just working away on our kitchen. Then on the 8th, I took a test that changed my life. Unlike the probably fifty pregnancy test I have taken over the last two years, I finally had TWO lines show up. Praise the Lord! As of today (we think I am) six weeks pregnant. No spotting for two weeks now and an ultrasound on Monday to see how things are progressing.

My mom spent about a week here with us as I did nothing but lay around. She was such a tremendous help. She visited with me, helped me at the grocery, cooked, cleaned, and straightened. I had such a great time with her here and it was so sad to see her leave.

We did finish our kitchen "renovation" this month (well, except for a lone cabinet pull that we don't have yet). I have cooked in it a little bit, just enough to know that I really like it.

I have watched a ton of chick flicks over the last few weeks. One of my good friends brought over her whole collection to keep my mind occupied, I have watched about half of them I think. Some of the ones I really liked were Princess Diaries, Penelope, Sleepless in Seattle, and Runaway Bride.

This month I worked on a logo for my dad. He is growing Heirloom tomatoes this spring and selling them at the local plant shows. I designed a logo for him.
I feel that this month has been kind of a roller coaster trying to go with what comes at us. God has granted us the wonderful gift that we have been praying for. Now, we just continue to pray that God will keep our little one safe and healthy.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."
~Ephesians 3:20

Chicken Alfredo Pizza...

While my mom was here she shared a recipe for a pizza that she has been making recently. While she was here she made it for us to try. A couple of days later, I asked her if she would make it again. On Friday night, my DH made it for us again. The recipe is originally from Cooking Light. However, we have made tweaked it some to fit our tastes. So, I thought that I would share the recipe that is really tasty yet easy to make.

Chicken Alfredo Pizza

(Picture from Cooking Light)

• 1 large bag of fresh spinach, washed
  
• 1 1/2 cups shredded cooked chicken breasts or rotisserie chicken
  
• 2 teaspoons lemon juice
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 garlic clove, halved
• 1 (1-pound) Thin pizza crust
  
• 1/2 cup light Alfredo sauce (I used Classico)
• 1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper

Preheat oven to 450°.

Saute spinach in a saucepan in some olive oil just until wilted.

Combine the sauted spinach and the next four ingredients; toss well. Rub cut sides of garlic over crust; discard garlic. Spread Alfredo sauce evenly over crust; top with chicken mixture. Sprinkle with cheese and red pepper. Bake at 450° for 12 minutes or until crust is crisp. Cut into 6 wedges.

Enjoy!

My God of Peace and Timing...

I bought the book Prayers for New & Expectant Moms over a year ago at the local Christian bookstore. On the Sunday that I found out I was pregnant I asked my DH to find it. In it was a prayer that addressed my fears of the day. I thought about the book earlier but thought "I have already read what it has to say about where I am today". But as I was praying today, I felt like God was saying "Read that section again". I reread the prayer that I read almost two weeks ago and as I tearfully came to a place of peace and rest I was in amazed by God. I just thought I would share the prayer just to show you how AWESOME God is.

"Dear Lord, can I endure another tragic loss? I don't believe I am able to shoulder the burden of another miscarriage. I cannot go back to that place of grieving again. Lord, you will have to meet me right where I stand--now, even at this very moment. I do not want this burden upon me any longer. I am un a stranglehold of consuming fear and do not know how to free myself from it. Hold my heart, my soul, in your able hands. Regard me as one who is immeasurably weak and frail and unable to handle the strain of living with such sorrow. Lord, I need you as never before. I am helpless and stagnant without your steadying hand of strength. Bestow your grace upon me, I plead. Even my heart is unstable, conflicted, and filled with worrisome thoughts. Lead me to a place that is safe and secure.

Shelter me, Lord, from the torment and instruct my heart in your ways. Give me new vision for life. Help me see past all the agonies of these losses and give me your grace to place them in your hands. Safe keep all my hopes and desires for a family, Lord. And temper these longings with the overarching desire to live the life you've planned for mewith resolve and courage. Shoulder me up through these coming weeks and months with your precious promises of mercy and peace and the joy of Your fellowship. Let me not drift from your love; kepp me close, and minister to my broken heart. I know that you love me. I trust your soveriegn reign over all things. Yet, I'll never understand the whys behind so many of my hearts questions. Beyond my unanswered pleas, Lord, lead me to a place what is higher than where I am now. Lead me home to you even as I walk in faith through this pregnancy. Amen."

~Prayer is from Prayers for New & Expectant Moms by Michele Howe

The Thoughts in my Mind...

Fridays just seem to be popping up every time I turn around. I just can't believe that a whole new week has passed.

I have spent most of my days hanging out on the couch. I picked up a knitting project that I started for over two years ago. I am trying to get projects that I have started completed before our little one arrives.

I haven't spotted since last Saturday and I went to the doctor yesterday for another ultrasound. She saw the yolk sack which was good. She didn't see anything else which makes her think that I found out I was pregnant really, really early and that I am only 4 to 4 1/2 weeks along instead of almost 6 weeks. The doctor gave me a picture of the ultrasound and if I had a scanner, the picture would be at the top of this post.

To be honest, in my mind I feel kinda' confused/discouraged/slightly lost, if that makes sense. In many ways I feel like we (my DH, myself, and our little one) took two HUMONGOUS steps back. For one, I am in the same place (as far as the timeline is concerned) that we thought we were almost two weeks ago. This makes me feel kinda' discouraged because the completion of the first trimester is such a big deal and I feel like we haven't made any progress towards it. Secondly, when I miscarried before, the tests that they ran led them to the conclusion that everything had basically stopped developing about the time that I found out I was pregnant, it just took my body several weeks to figure that out. In the back (actually, I should say front and center) of my mind, is the rememberance of this and the thought that maybe the same thing is happening this time. My doctor didn't say anything negative, I just don't know if she isn't telling me all of her concerns (which I understand may be a good thing).

I say all of this to ask you to please continue to pray for us. For me, please pray that my mind does not get the better of me, that I will be able to rest in Him even when my mind is doing circles. I have ten days until my next ultra sound and I need to be positive until we find out I should think otherwise. I really don't need to stress about it for 10 days. For my DH, pray that he will not be discouraged either. We have both prayed that God would bless us with a baby for a couple of years now and I know that he is just as nervous as I am. For the baby, pray that things will continue to develop and that everything will progress smoothly.

I have recieved several comments about people praying for us all over the country and the world. For this, I am extremely thankful. I appreciate your lifting our little family up to God because being in His hands is the best place to be.

Jehovah is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; My God, my rock, in whom I will take refuge; My shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower.
~Psalm 18:2

An Almost Finished Kitchen...

Well, there is no new news on the pregnancy front. However, I am greatly appreciative of all of your prayers and am believing that no news is good news. Hopefully we will know more on Thursday.

My mom left this morning, which was very sad. She has helped me so very much. I don't think she will ever understand how much her presence and help have meant to me this last week.

Bless my DH's heart, he has been working so hard to get our kitchen finished. While my mom was here she took care of me and my DH spent almost every spare moment he could finishing up the kitchen.
Alas, it is almost finished. We decided that we were going to change the cabinets handles and we had to order some of them because they were out of them at the store. So, other than 8 pulls, the kitchen is finished and all of the kitchen's content are back in their rightful place.
And might I mention that I absolutely love the counter tops and all of the new counter space. I feel like I am walking into someone else's kitchen. I can't wait until I can actually get back to cooking and making bread in there.

The Four Weeks, 6 Days Report...

Hey everybody. I hope that your weekend has been going well. My Mom is still in town (Yea!), my DH is trying to get our kitchen remodel completed, and I have not been doing much other than laying on the couch or the bed.

Yesterday was my first day to not have any spotting. Praise the Lord! So far, I am "spotting" free as well. I have not been spending a ton of time up so I think that that is a correlation to the lack of spotting. My mom has been doing all of our laundry and cooking meals for us. She is going back on Tuesday, which is sad, but she has been such a TREMENDOUS help to me this last week.

We appreciate all of your prayers and we believe that your prayers have helped us thus far. I will keep you posted on any new developments. Until Thursday, we are keeping on praying.

A Bit of Positive News...

Hey there everyone! Can it really be that this week is already almost over???

I am sorry that short of pregnancy information there isn't much else happening on my blog. I just really haven't done anything all week except lay down and run a quick errand or two with my mom.

I heard from my doctor about my hCG level from yesterday. It was supposed to have at least doubled from 86. My hCG level was 198. Praise the Lord!!! I am still spotting, which really makes me nervous, but I am trying not to think about it. I go back to the doctor next Thursday for another ultrasound. Until then, I am resting, laying down, hydrating, and praying. Oh and my pregnancy appetite is kicking in too, so I am eating pretty frequently as well.

Other than that, I am just trying to dwell on God's power and control. I am trying to rest in that, once again.

Still in the Waiting...

Hello to you all. I hope that your week is going well.

I heard from my doctor earlier today with the results from the blood work I had done on Monday. My progesterone level was 69. This was good news because the level is high enough to sustain a pregnancy. My hCG level was 86. This result didn't really tell us anything because this is the one that they took as the base line and it is supposed to have double from Monday to today. If it did then that means that everything is going well, if not then it is a sign that I am having complications. So, we are waiting once again.

I am still spotting. So, "Dr. DH" and "Dr. Mom" have ordered that lay down as much as possible. I spent most of the day on the couch and my mom took care of J. (the little boy that I nanny) and is taking care of my house too.

One of my good friends came by today and brought me Kari Jobe's new CD's. I have had it playing all afternoon and I am just filling the house with worship music. I am trying to keep my mind positive and on the One who controls it all. He's got it all in His hands and I am just trying to rest in that while we are waiting.

Thanks so much for your prayers, we appreciate them so very much.

"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." ~Colossians 1:17

A Quick Update...

Thank you all so very much for your congratulations and your prayers. I appreciate them both so very much.

I went to the doctor yesterday evening. She did an ultrasound and was able to see a gestational sac. It is too early to see anything else being that I am about 4 1/2 weeks. She did a blood work panel and we are waiting on the results this afternoon. I go back tomorrow for some more blood work so we can see if everything is increasing like it is supposed to. My doctor said that the combination of the ultrasound and the blood work results will tell us if things are progressing like they should. She said that I should take it easy but I don't have to stay in bed all the time. My spotting has lightened but is still there.

We would still greatly appreciate your prayers.

"Hold on to Jesus, and cling to his love
rest deep in his mercy, whenever things get rough
and don't lose sight of his goodness
and don't ever doubt this truth, that when you hold on to
Jesus He's holding onto you. "
~ Erin O'Donnell's "Hold on To Jesus"

News and a Request...

Well, this morning I found out that I am pregnant. This news is so wonderful. We have been waiting on this day for some time now. But, I ask that you would please pray for me and our baby because I am having the same type of spotting that I had leading up to my miscarriage last time.

My mom is on her way from Florida and I have been laying down all day. My life is so blessed to have such a wonderful husband, he is taking such good care of me.

The pastors at our church came by and prayed over us and my dear friend came over and spent the whole afternoon chatting with me. Thank the Lord for such a wonderful family, church family, and my friend. They are all blessings to my life.

Please pray for both myself, our baby, and my DH. I am going to the doctor in the morning to hopefully get an ultrasound and some blood work done. I will keep you posted, but ask for your prayers.

The Stress of a Dream or Two...

You know that something is really getting to you when it is present in everyday life and then it shows up in your dreams. I tend to find this coincidence kind of irritating because if it is something that worries me a lot, then I spend the whole day trying not to worry about it. Then I have the whole situation pan out in all different ways in my sleep (dreams). Such was the case last night.

This morning was the first day that I could take an early detection pregnancy test and just so you know it was negative. Yesterday I felt nervous all day. I felt like it was an elephant in the room as far as my mental state was concerned. Last night, as I went to sleep I was thinking about this and that (things not related to being pregnant or not). While I was sleeping I had dream after dream about pregnancy test. In one of my dreams I went to my cabinet (where I have a few tests) to find that my supply had at least quadrupled. I open the first test to see that it already has two little pink lines on it. I exhaust my supply because they are all already showing a result. So my DH hurries to Target for me to buy me some more. I am not sure what happened after that. In another dream, my DH and I were at my parents' house and I calmly take a test. Two pink lines appear and I walk into the living room and say, "Well I guess I am pregnant." Both my DH and my parents say "That's great" and continue reading their books. Just for the record, I think that I will probably be screaming from the bathroom with excitement if I did get two pink lines in real life and my DH and family would being having a big time celebration and wouldn't be reading another thing for the rest of the day.

I write all of this to say that I have been feeling anxious. I get excited about the prospect of being pregnant and yet about the time that I start thinking about how great it would be, I begin to worry about miscarrying. I know that God is in control, (believe me, He and I have had many a conversation about the matter). I believe that God will bless my DH and I with children one day (either through adoption or pregnancy).

After I got up this morning, I checked the comments from yesterday's post. I appreciate all of your prayers and encouragement. For now, I am finding peace in the midst of the worry because I know that my GOD IS IN CONTROL.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

~Philippians 4:6-7

It's Amazing What a Coat of Paint Can Do...

Well, our kitchen is coming right along. My DH sanded the cabinets and then we primed them. My DH then put the two top coats on and my cabinets are curing now. I am going to be putting things away tomorrow.

Here is a picture of my dining room at the beginning of January.
Here is a picture of my dining room now.

It is a BIG mess, isn't it? Every single thing out of my kitchen (minus the food in the pantry) is in somewhere in the dining room.

Now on to the kitchen progress.

Here are the cabinets as they were getting their coat of primer.

Here are the cabinets completely painted.

We still have to put the fronts on them after we paint them.

My DH is planning on fabricating the doors tomorrow afternoon.

Not that I want to brag to much, but my DH has been so great about all of the painting. I helped him briefly paint on Saturday night. But since I am in the waiting period to take a pregnancy test, my DH didn't want me around the fumes. He painted all day Saturday and Sunday all by himself while I sat in the living room and sewed.

One is Gone and Another has Come...

(Our sweet boy, Dozer, enjoying some alone time in the sunny weather.)

Happy February to you (few days late)! I am behind on my usual monthly summary and such. So, I am combining them into one post. The month of January more or less flew by as the months usually do.

We were home in Florida for the first week and then made the trip home. We found our home in good condition so that was a blessing. I managed to get unpacked and put away all of the Christmas decorations within a week of being home.

I managed to both get in and out of a good routine. I have been doing my exercises pretty regularly, though I would not say daily. The medicine that I was on made me feel awful for about a week and a half. All I wanted to do was lay in bed in the dark. Praise the Lord that those side effects are over with!

Last month my DH and I got started on the kitchen redo we have been talking about ever since we moved into our house. It is coming right along and they should be installing my counter tops within 3 weeks. Yea!

In January, my DH and I started Freedom in Christ training at our church. We have two weeks left in the training,

And now for the month of February...Hopefully my kitchen will be completed before the month is over with. I would be very happy if that were the case.

Valentine's day is less than a couple weeks away. I need to plan start planning some things. I would share what I am thinking about but my DH reads my blog and that would spoil his surprise.

My Mom and grandmother (Gram) might be coming for a visit this month. It would be fabulous to see them and spend some time with them. My Gram hasn't gotten to see our house yet, so it would be really fun to give her a tour of my house. It is always great when my mom gets to come for a visit.

Other than that I can't really think of anything else going on this month. I have high hopes of getting some sewing projects finished this month and getting back into my wonderful routine. I am just so much more productive that way.