Thursday, March 4, 2010

My Worried Heart's Healer...

I have been milling around this post for a little while, but I wanted to post this as a reminder to myself in the future and maybe as an encouragement to one of you. I am not sure if this is going to make a ton of sense to everyone, but I hope so.

Spiritually and emotionally February was filled with an overwhelmingly peace and attitude of thankfulness/gratefulness in my heart. February 8th was one year since I found out that I was pregnant with Judah. On this February 8th, as I thought back on that day from last year and the weeks that followed the positive pregnancy test, I remembered the heaviness of my heart and how God had been there all along providing me with comfort if I would only ask. I began to pray and thank the Lord, specifically for his blessings over the last year.

Fast forward to the next evening, the 9th... I nursed Judah and we put him to bed. The moments of quiet made my mommy heart began to feel fearful, thinking of all of the what-if's about the next day because the next morning we had to bring Judah for a digestive system test. I decided to put on my ipod as I did laundry to give me something to think about. I randomly put Kari Jobe on and started singing along.

Then the song "Healer" came on. Immediately in my mind's eye, I was transported back to about a year ago. I was laying on the couch (on bed-rest) playing my new Kari Jobe CD listening "Healer" over and over again, praying for God to be the Healer for me and my baby. As I stood there in the laundry room a year later, I began to cry. I cried tears of joy, tears of thanksgiving, and tears of peace. I was thanking my heavenly Father for giving me that encouragement I needed to face the next day, even though I had already begun to doubt/worry about the future. I was thanking Him for gently reminded me of everything He had brought me through this past year, even though my memory of Him was so short. I was thanking Him for not giving up on me. He reminded me that He had everything under control and He gave me such a peace the next day.

I pray that in the future when my heart wants to worry, I will remember that God holds my future and my families future safely in His hands. How great it is that He reminds us.

Give me a sign of Your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for You, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.
~Psalms 86:17


Hammond Bride said...

There are tears welling in my eyes! Thank you so much for sharing! My husband and I were talking about remembering God's wonders just last night after watching The Truth Project with our small group. After 40 years of wandering in the wilderness and seeing God's grace literally rain from the sky every day, the Israelites passed through the Jordan on dry ground. God told them to get big rocks and build a monument so that in generations to come the children would ask why and the parents would remember what God had done from them. I heard a speaker a few weeks ago that talked about building Rock Piles in our lives that help us remember. Thank you for sharing your Rock Pile. What a precious memory and what a beautiful reminder that God is in control, even when nothing makes sense and we're scared out of our minds! :) I needed that reminder this morning - thank you.

Nanci said...

I am rejoicing with you that the Lord has given you the desire of your heart when He brought your son to join your husband and you. I am, also, thankful for the peace that He brought you by helping you to remember past events in which He worked on your behalf.

It is amazing how many times Scripture encourages us to remember times of God's working in the past. I am much older than you, but age does not keep fears from creeping into one's thoughts. I find that those fears are much more easily banished when I stop to remember Christ's marvelous works recorded in His Word and the many times that He has undertaken on my behalf.

God bless you as you continue to remember the mighty acts of the Lord. May they always bring you comfort.

Charree said...

Hammond Bride - I really like the Rock Pile analogy. It is so fitting. Thank you for sharing it. Have a blessed day!

Nanci - God truly has blessed us immensely. It is so wonderful to have Scripture and past experiences to draw off of when our faith is small. May God bless you as well!


Mrs. U said...

This is BEAUTIFUL!! I haven't heard this song before and OOOOH it brings tears to my eyes!! Thank you for sharing this AND for sharing the goodness of the Lord in your life!!

Blessings to you and your family!

Mrs. U